That first step...

I remember the summer days from my childhood fondly. The lake in my hometown where pretty much everyone gathered. Young and old. Remembering all the splashing and running around. My tiny body, shivering from having been in that water for hours. The bees buzzing. The lush trees and that faint smell of a BBQ somewhere. The dripping from the delicious ice creams, that would make my small hands all sticky. When I was 10 years old I jumped from the diving tower (33 feet) at the lake. So proud of myself as not many others dared to. I then promised myself to do it every year if I got an opportunity. The reasoning was that I was going to be a cool mom to my future children. A fearless mama (or at least a mama trying to conquer her fears). So now, every summer, I do jump from that tower or a cliff (of about the same height) in the stunning archipelago. Standing up there, looking at the water 33 feet below, does not bring up any comfortable feelings. Actually, they are bringing up sheer fear. There is not one part of the body that is longing to throw itself out there. None. I can rationally tell myself that nothing bad will happen. I know that as I jump every year. Yet, the fear is there. Screaming to me to not do it. What I do then is try to reason with myself. “It is just one step. Just one step out and I will make it." It is that one step that also is so frightening to take. And then I just do it. With fear roaring in my body I look down. Decide. Now. Take the step and then I am on my way. When I hit the water I feel such a relief (and excitement). Wow, I did it! I use this reasoning in many other aspects of my life. This metaphor of “that one step” or “that first step”. When I have something unpleasant ahead of me. Something I am dreading or have fear of doing. It really helps me at times. To just do it. Whatever it might be.